Creative block

It appears that all this introspection is resulting in some sort of "analysis paralysis".  My husband, joined me when I was wandering around the basement studio fondling fabric and sort of tidying up.  We were both sort of looking at the three heavy-duty shelving units that hold my large storage tubs of, mainly commercial, fabric--most of which I will never use.  Bless his heart, he thinks I should make bed quilts out of it, to get rid of it.  But that's not "art", I bleat.  "Maybe not, but we need to get rid of it".  He's even offered to do the rotary cutting for me.  Well, one guideline that's been suggested for creativity blocks is to "just do something', even if that's just sorting fabric or cleaning the studio. The only difficulty with the idea, is that , while we might make the tops, they will still need quilting, and I can't do larger quilts on my domestic machine.  Yes, I know it can be done, but not with my limited hand strength, and the very small area I have for working.  I can't deal with the weight of more than about a 40 inch square piece. Regardless of that, I'm going to give some serious thought to his suggestion.

But at the same time, deep in my heart, I worry about whether my creativity is gone, as part of the aging process.  A slow, dementing process is always a fear in those of us who are getting older. So, I've gone back to the the jar of "prompts" that I made awhile ago, and haven't dared touch ever since.  This was little pieces of paper with an idea or suggestion written on each one.  The idea is that, when you're in a "blue funk", and don't have any ideas of what to do next, you reach into the jar and pull out a piece of paper and do whatever it says.   So, my jar is now sitting there, staring at me, and daring me to pull an idea.  I'm just having trouble actually reaching into it.  What if, whatever I pull isn't something I want to do?  What a stupid way to think!!

So, I think my next project will be making sign to tape on the mirror in the upstairs studio that says "JUST DO IT!!"

Eye Candy

Yesterday was the monthly meeting of my small fibre art "support " group.  This is a group of local ladies who are serious fibre artists.  Many of them also belong to The Fibre Art Network (www.fibreartnetwork.com ).  Our monthly meetings, in each others' homes, are informal and involve discussion about  techniques, problem solving, and luscious "Show'n'Tell".  While I've been involved in this sort of endeavor for most of my life, others are at various stages in the continuum.  It's stimulating to see the growing skills, confidence, and changing focus.  Our interests are so different, and even with our closeness, and the active exchange of ideas, our resulting work is dramatically different.  Some have found their niche, and others are still experimenting. A couple of them are becoming well recognized in the field, on a national or international basis. So-o-o, it's very hard to maintain a "blue funk" mood when exposed to such joy and enthusiasm, to say nothing of the "eye candy".

The journey continues

Obviously it's been awhile since I last posted.  Some of that time was spent preparing for a beading class I taught last Saturday, but time was also spent in looking for options to the hand stitching that has been my mainstay for many, many years.  I mentioned taking several Craftsy classes to see if I could find some sort of machine techniques that I could use to facilitate my creative drive.  This strategy has lead to mixed success, and will need some re-evaluation.That creative drive has always been apart of my life.  I can  remember making my own paper dolls, and drawing and colouring clothing for them when I was barely old enough to hold scissors.  

Over the past few weeks the deterioration in my hand function has become more and more an issue.  Always, in the past, I have been able to use my training and experience as an Occupational Therapist to adapt my working methods to accommodate my diminishing function, but now I'm being forced to into the acceptance of an "end stage" to that process.  This isn't easy.  My hand function has been a source of self esteem and productive creativity for almost 70 years.  I feel as though I have nothing left, and that anything I attempt, from now on, will be second best.

Of course, I'm in the depths of some sort of grieving process.  I will have to work that through before I will be able to see any thing positive about what's going on.  In the past I have used this blog to sort out my thinking and try to make sense of things in my life, and today is no exception.  So, for the rest of the day, I'm going to "wallow"  in feeling sorry for myself, but I promise to start trying to look forward tomorrow. 

A couple of more steps on my journey

Lately I've been talking about my need to find and outlet for my creativity, that minimizes my need to use my poor arthritic hands.  Part of this is exploring more non-traditional fibre-related activities through workshops on Craftsy. A couple of years ago I signed up for Carol Ann Waugh's Stitch and Slash workshop, but never finished it for a variety of reasons.  I took another look at it this week, and actually finished a piece.  When I looked at other students' work, I realized that mine was different--somehow. Thinking about it, I've come to the realization that I have a comfort zone that is much smaller and narrower than I had ever believed.  My difficulty is in letting go, and relaxing about details, while I plan and work.  My work is often pretty, but only rarely has any obvious "soul".  I also know that it's those pieces with "soul" that receive more critical acceptance ( they sell!)

Damn!  I had been somewhat aware of this, and had thought I was dealing with it, but obviously not, and I don't know what to do.

Here is the piece I finished yesterday.

  Very, very different than others coming out of the workshop.

I also made this from the scraps.  It will probably turn itself into a large pencil case, sometime in the next couple of days.

New work

This week I've concentrated on finishing a piece I started quite some time ago, in anticipation of a local gallery show.  There is another piece going to that show, but a second show has come up the theme of which is "Oh Canada", in honour of Canada's  150th birthday.

The fabric was Shibori dyed last summer, so quilting it and finishing it didn't take long. It is quilted using a variegated Fantastico by Superior Threads ( #5088) in combination with a gold metallic--from I wish I knew where. It is faced, and the facing needs to be stitched by hand.  This is happening bit by bit, as my hands allow, but today, it is done far enough that I could take a picture. 

It is 24" by 36", and didn't look right until I added the horizon and tree.  The tree could have been more realistic, but the sunset is very stylized, so I felt the tree should be also, for consistency.  It's a simple little piece, but I was glad to finally have a use for it.  I have titled it  "Oh Canada--and Her Magnificent Prairie Sunsets"

In the meantime, in exploring options for using more machine work, I have been working on a few Craftsy classes.  I'll try to post pictures later in the week.

I plan to link this with Nina Marie Sayre's Off the Wall Fridays, and The Needle and Thread Network.

Crossroads

Kind people have commented about the problems I'm having with arthritis attacking my wrists,  hands and fingers.  I thank each of them for that.  This problem has existed for many years, but has now reached the stage where I'm contemplating the end of my ability to stitch by hand.  Please understand that I was a very well respected (award winning) hand  embroiderer, and hand quilter, at one point in the past. The arthritis reached a point, then, that I was forced then to make a decision about my future, and I made the conscious decision to pursue a more machine based path, in my desperate need to create.

I spent a couple of years actively teaching myself to machine and free motion quilt, and also pursued any workshops, and other experience, in any mixed media art form that could be utilized with fibre.  (Throughout my life, I have tried various art/craft forms, but have always returned to fibre.  My soul cries out for the texture and sensuality of textiles.)  I joined both traditional art-based special interest groups, and fibre art-based special interest based groups, believing that surrounding one's self with artists, associating with artists, and actively communicating with artists, will result in one's growth as an artist.

At the same time, I made art, with a hand-worked component, as often as my hand function would allow. This strategy has been successful, to a certain point.  Advancing age and accompanying physical issues, have significantly reduced both my ability, and, to be honest, my interest, in pursuing a national or international presence, in the field.

Now, again, I'm at a crossroad.  Further use of my hands is no longer a viable aspect of my work.  Despite active involvement in traditional art-related groups, the return is becoming less and less beneficial.  I also firmly believe that any sort of artistic effort is only enhanced by a firm basis of technical skill, in the creation of the resulting product.  I will never be happy with the result of any artistic creation if I do not feel that I have created it skillfully.

So, I have made a decision to reduce my involvement with the traditionally-based art groups, and increase my involvement in fibre-based special interest groups.  At the same time, I intend to pursue workshops that give me the potential to develop skill in techniques that require a minimum of hand function.  I do not intend to reduce my efforts to show my work in regional galleries, and professional fibre art venues, but rather, to try to increase it.

The goals I plan to pursue over the next while are:

• re-visit fibre-related techniques that have been successful in the past, but have been neglected over the past few years. ( I have a list)
• re-join 1 or 2 organizations that served me well in the past, but have received less priority than the traditional art-based  organizations I have to which I have recently given my time.  (Again, I have a list)
• actively search out machine-based workshops, related to fibre  (I took the first one this weekend--wonderful!)
• give serious consideration to all exhibition possibilities that present themselves--something I have not done in the past.  I may even put more effort into seeking out such opportunities.

Wish me success!

I plan to link this with The Needle and Thread Network.

A "come-by-Chance" Opportunity

Last Saturday, a fibre show being mounted at a small local Gallery, came up short of having enough pieces to fill the walls. A friend and I were asked if we had anything we could add to the show, by Monday.  It was a bit of a scramble, but DH and I drove out to the gallery first thing Monday morning with 8 pieces from both of us.

This is a great opportunity for me to show, and I'm very pleased to have been asked.

Here are my pieces, as they were hung.

The piece on the left is crewel embroider by Kathy Smith.  The middle piece is my Celestial Filigree, which is Acrylic on Cotton, beaded. The piece on the right is my Sunset, which I blogged about a couple of weeks ago.

Above is my piece Flavour of Fall, which is leaf prints on Shibori dyed cotton.  It is also beaded.

This purple piece is modified and painted Tyvek, over which I have beaded.  I call it Plumbing the Depths.

This is a heavily hand embroidered piece that had been hanging on my design wall for years, waiting for me to find enough money to have it framed.  Well, I bit the bullet and turned it into a hanging for this show.  I call it Under the Sea.

And my final piece is my reliquary titled   Fantasy Cottage.