last night. A strange event to observe. Quite placid on the surface, but obviously some sort of undercurrent. Well I knew what the undercurrent was-- An unpleasant event that impacted on the Guild and needed to be dealt with. Various people would disappear into side rooms for intense conversation periodically. This is related to the Big Weekend I've been working on, and the end result is that I will have to be the one negotiating and smoothing ruffled feathers. For me, personally, I came home emotionally exhausted, and sensing that I have lost a friend. Over the past 12-18 months, I have been aware that I have seriously over-commited, and have been stressing myself to the point of being quite unhappy. So I have been letting some of my affiliations go, and picking up new ones that, I have felt, offered me something more in return for my involvement. This has not panned out the way I expected. The new associations haven't been as rewarding as I expected. Now I have a vision of the future that sees me quickly becoming quite isolated, as my previous involvements come to a close, and I have nothing to replace them. Last night was to have been my last meeting with this Guild, and as well as losing the affiliation, I have now lost the few friendships that I thought were there. I've always said that there is nothing as viciously political as women's volunteer organizations.
So I'm not a "happy camper' today. And the weather is matching my mood-slow drizzle from a very grey sky. The critique on my "urn" was neutral, with no suggestions for improvement--talk about "damning with faint praise"! Today I make beads. Since I'm teaching it tomorrow, I figure I need to brush up my skills. I sure hope that turns out okay.
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