What a difference a day makes!

The newspaper today states that Galleries won't have to close. What a relief!  But the change in my mood is now scaring me a bit.  I know that I've always cycled a bit in my moods, but the change coming from a good night's sleep and this bit of news is significant.  Maybe I can  use it productively.

why do I bother?

Yesterday  the Gallery show I'm participating in was hung.  I was pleased that there weren't many greeting cards on sale, and my mixed media postcards certainly held their own.  Some were even given space on a short plinth, and my larger pieces fit in well with work from the 3 other participants.  This has been such a struggle for me to envision and physically create, when my health ahs been un-predicable for most of the past year.  This show was originally planned for May 2020, and was cancelled because of the critical Covid lockdown.  

Today, the government announced much more stringent restrictions that will undoubtedly close the gallery and cancel the show yet again.

This morning, my husband helped me make some very difficult decisions about older work--primarily items that had been made during the years I participated in shows/sales of art work, and those associated items that actually paid the bills.  I had quite a few items that were left after a few dismal sales, and helped spur the decision to no longer participate in such events.  These items represented a fair financial investment, but one that will never be recovered.  They filled  large laundry basket, and my heart broke, as I watched my husband drive away with them, headed toward a  thrift store donation.

To say that I'm devastated would be an understatement.  In the studio I have a work table covered with the first step of the postcards that other show participants had suggested I submit. I had also ordered online, and paid for, supplies for finishing them.  No point in carrying on now.

I can't even cry.  I just sit here and feeling sorry for myself, and wondering what my future might hold.  I don't see any doors or windows opening right now.

Where does time go. ( More navel gazing)

 My last post was the day after I had experienced an unexpected reaction to my first anti-Covid vaccination.  Unfortunately, the headaches, extreme fatigue, and even a bit of confusion, got quite a bit worse, and now, over two weeks later, I'm finally starting to feel like things are coming back to normal.  ( This will all be followed medically) Yesterday, everything except the fatigue appeared less, and today I felt able to attempt some non-demanding studio work, managing to keep at it for about 3 hours, with a short break for lunch.  By 3:00 I had obviously had enough, but spent some time watching a utube video about an historical archeological dig, and felt able to carry on with life, but without a nap--for today.

At this point, I feel ready for the upcoming gallery exhibition, which hangs a week from now.  There is still the paperwork, ( there's always more paperwork, no matter what you are doing).  I have realized that I have been pursuing, at an exhausting pace, the creative, studio area of my life for about 13 months.  I haven't even done much in the way of blogging.  Now this period of very frightening physical, as well as mental concerns, has brought me to my senses.  I have fulfilled all of my commitments, other than the volunteering that having pieces in the gallery requires.  I feel a need to re-evaluate where I might be going in my studio, even to the point of wondering if I might need to stay away from the studio for a period.  By this I mean, mainly, to stop relentlessly pursuing the creative aspects of my life-long relationship with fibre, even as I respect the knowledge that some time fondling fabric is good for my soul.

While I'm not setting any sort of time related goals, over the next while, I plan to spend some time reading and reacting to the book "Walking in this World", by Julia Cameron.  I bought this a few months back and never had a chance to actually read it.  I have also bought 3-4 art related resource books, and want to take a look into those. A couple haven't even been opened. I think I may spend some time on more traditional quilt making.  In terms of creativity, I'll remain open to whatever jumps out at me, but I'm no longer going to be seeking it out. Maybe most importantly, I'm going to rest, or nap, or sit in front of the tv, or even go to bed early, if my body suggests that this activity is needed.  Maybe I might even try to sit outside and watch the birds, or attempt a short walk.  Beyond that, I refuse to consider making any plans.

At the end of the Cloth to Codex workshop I recently finished, I mentioned at our Zoom "graduation" ceremony that I didn't feel I had done justice to the workshop. Then I decided to take a look at what I did get done. Here are some of the photos. I have a whole table top of paper books. I just couldn't get the cutting directions straight, and most of them are held together with masking tape, but I did get one accordion book with extra pages that I'm pleased with. I have a pile of fabric painted and ready for "something" and also have three large sheets of water colour paper, used under the fabric. Happy with that. The fabric painting on large scale with paint, India ink, syringes, and whatever gave me two large (36"by45") pieces. The first was cut, re-pieced, quilted, and then cut into three. I ended up with a larger finished piece with Asemic writing and a smaller beaded piece. Both finished and ready for exhibition. I have a large scroll book and my small "Snipit" scroll. I have yet to make and add the spindles, but know how that will be done.

Actually that's quite a bit. I also know that I got a huge number of just neat tricks for getting what you vision out of your supplies (Clear Gesso? Who knew?)I had never used markers before and now have a shoe box size container of them. It was a great workshop, and one appreciate more than I can say.

I'm sorry that the pictures are out of order. The technical aspects of posting have defeated me.

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