Time off

My most recent sale was very poor. I have three more scheduled this month, but then plan to take at least six months off. With all of the pressure to produce for the sales, I haven't been able to do any serious creative work, and this has been preying on my mind. I also have two very serious classes to prepare for--both actual lessons and all of the project samples that I'll need to support them. Six months will also give me time to sort out in my mind what I really want to do with the rest of my life. If I want to sell then I have to make a real commitment to it. If I want to create, then I need to actively explore how I would plan to present my creations to the world. One thing I know is, that if I just create and keep it to myself, it will be sent to a thift store when I die. So I need the time to really find out what sort of life it might be to exhibit.

Over the past several years, I've often spent short periods of time "navel gazing", but I've never actually devoted time to gathering the information I need to come to a firm decision on my future. As I get older the idea of just having fun comes to mind more and more often. I think that, over the years, the cost of my creative life has driven me to sell, although the percieved need to recover cost has been in my own mind more than that of others around me.

What do I want to be remembered for?